England took on the mighty France last Saturday and came away the winners - a sort of unexpected result given the French flair and skill levels.
Today, at an impromptu press conference, Bernard Lasporte announced that some of his team had fallen under the influence of a talismanic Englishwoman, and he went on to explain “that her touch has affected, afflicted and initiated some of the best rugbymen of all time...”
“I can do nothing. The players are ok one minute and then start trembling from the knees upwards. They adopt a strange expression and it stays with them – forever”
To back up his claim, he produced several photos to
illustrate the effect. Before the showdown
with England was announced, the ‘Le
Parisien’ special correspondent Thomas Castanet (pictured right) was sent
to England to see if he could come up with something. He did.
When he returned -
six days later, this is what he looked like…haggard, unfocussed etc etc...
Lasporte was stunned to see the effect that Mystic Mildred had upon such a healthy specimen and immediately took steps to protect his team. Unfortunately for the France XV, Mildred had already got her hands on the talismanic Sebastien Chabal and he was done for (or five – not sure).
Bernardo Lasporte was shocked and it was only hair dye that restored his key player to ‘colour’ before the match on Saturday evening…but Chabal was drained, spent and unable to compete.
another poor victim of Mystic Mildred
“Mystic Mildred has made a big impression on the French – the younger ones are powerless, and they never fully recover. France will think of something but, until then, we only know how to be polite, we do not have such a weapon in France to help us with our game.”
Below is a photo of
the teetotal Mildred with Sebastien Chabal after ONLY one night in her grip –
the effect she had on his game was AMAZING!
Hi Martin, Hi everybody !
for your information :
Mildred never kiss me on my mouth ! or in my mouth !
la bise
Jipé
Posted by: Jipé | 16 October 2007 at 13:38
"Never say never", Jipé !
Posted by: Pierre | 16 October 2007 at 15:06
How did you miss out JP but Pierre is right never say never and your chance could come! frightening!
Bisous
Posted by: annie | 16 October 2007 at 15:53
Do you want to see the bit of the photo I cropped off Jipé? ;¬)
Posted by: Martin | 16 October 2007 at 16:31