The West London's RWC blog

Breakfast Time In Paris

Well, the Argentine team are just waking up and the South Africa XV ditto. Tomorrow, I think the South Africa machine might start spluttering and hopefully die a death, so preserving the Tournament of Romance 2007. Argentine forwards ever more exhausted though...can they do it? Yes they can!
Meanwhile, I read that the England team will be breakfasting on broccoli - which is a complex slow release carbohydrate apparently - with porridge, chicken and undoubtedly, adequate caffiene. Everyone will then go for a poo or two, run about a bit, play rugby, have fun and either win or lose - what a great prospect for us all!

Scotch Corner - A Bit Out Of Kilter...

So farewell then to Scotland. Miss McTavish has written a brief note (didn't think burly Scotch boys wore owt under their kilts but 'Och aye, they're new'...) In fact, all the teams that have played a part in making France great again can take heart from the pleasure that they have given to bar managers, hoteliers, garcons, suceptible damsels or boys who have fallen under the spell of the game played by men with oval balls.

Miss McTavish would like to say a final farewell on behalf of the Scotish Team to the RWC 2007. This tune has become a favourite of the Scots and could well have been their National Anthem in place of Flower of Scotland had it not been written by Germans! anway good luck to all the semi finalists.

 

 

HIGHLAND CATHEDRAL

 

VERSE 1.

Land of our fathers, we will always be

Faithful and loyal to our own country.

In times of danger, we will set you free.

Lead you to glory and to victory.

VERSE 2.

Hail, Caledonia, to our ancient prayer.

In this Highland Cathedral, let our standards, bear.

Joining, together, with one dream to share.

God bless the people of this land so fair.

CHORUS

Gone is the past, let us start anew.

Let this hope of peace, always remain.

Spirit of Scotia, be strong and true.

Then your children will smile again, again, again, again.

VERSE 3.

Rise, Caledonia, let your voices ring

In this Highland Cathedral of our God and King.

Whom, joy and liberty, to all, will bring.

Come; let your heart, with love and courage, sing.

CHORUS

Lonely the exile, o'er distant seas,

The home of their birth, gone from their eyes.

Bring back their souls o'er the ocean breeze

To the land where their fathers lie.

And here's that lovely song in full flow for those afficionados of the highland lilt...

Result...Madame Petrulengo says...

Flying Referee

The IRB announced this morning that a flying referee will assist 'Charlie' Kaplan in his quest to become the most reviled referee in Rugby World Cup history.  'Superref' is needed to keep up with the play as the one on the ground might have trouble if the players get a bit lary and change direction...The picture shows him being held down by an assistant. I reckon it is about time someone blew the whistle on this piece of kit - it's not BCBG!

French Friday

The eve of the big match. Will England wrap them up or can the little coqs raise their game enough? One thing's for sure - there will be extra piles of sick littering the streets of Paris today as the flood of rugby refugees washes over the bistros. Oh! how we would love to be there, experiencing the atmosphere...but give me Parc des Princes over St Denis for a real thrill. Anyone who saw Serge Blanco beat up Nigel Heslop or Mick Skinner smash Marc Cecillon (look what happened to him!) will remember the absolute suffocation of excitement (and also the herds of South Africans grunting about being champions the next time around...) The France XV might have caught black tongue disease last week - it causes choking in those afflicted with such a malady, and, given that Jonny Willkicksome has said that "England are a better team than in 2003..." he may even score more than 24 points this time around. I fear for France being bumped out of this World Cup, which is why this next thirty six hours should be filled with carnival and anticipation. When the chips are down, the England players  eat more!

Lionel Beauxis - Can't kick, Can't Dress and is a "Billy No Mates"

Just look at the mess this bloke has got himself into... drunk, surrounded by tramps and no prospects. This picture is for the ladies to see just how rough he is - nearly as rough as that other past it Scot's bloke Chris 'Pitter' Paterson. Both mecs have been severely beaten with the ugly stick...do you not agree?  Pascalfred, his personal assistant (pictured left) is looking to Lionel to 'smarten up'. Keep up the good work Alfred - England expects!

Eviction Time - Get Out

France XV and Bernie Lasporte, ever keen to take an unfair advantage, has been cosseting his players at Marcoussis - a 'state of the art' complex dedicated to rugby and elite sport. However, the IRB have told the team to clear off and find accomodation elsewhere, as other teams cannot have similar facilities. Helping to carry Shabby's industrial strength hair dryer into the lobby of their new abode,  Jo le taxi Maso said "he wasn't sure if it would be big enough but they would give it a try anyway, and besides, they were all looking forward to a night in."
Bernardo Lasporte was keen not to do anything under the table and wanted everything to be above board...staff are apparently working hard to accomodate his wishes...

Arrested Development...

Doug Howlett, the New Zealand wing from the Jo Maso School of Hairdressing, was arrested at 03:00 in the morning. Apparently he had 'jumped on two cars' parked outside the Heathrow Hilton... oh dear.
Any idea what make? I'm guessing a Renault  and a Peugeot  - all black - of course!

Teams for Saturday's RWC Semi Final

Coming soon, the pronouncements of Ryan Bashton, and Bernie Lasporte. Two unchanged teams? Two identical replacement benches? I only ask that Jo Maso gets a bit of a tidy up in the hair department - he looks like a 70s throwback...

13:42...Anyway, France - unchanged: DTraille; V Clerc, D Marty, Y Jauzion, C Heymans; L Beauxis, J-B Elissalde; O Milloud, R Ibanez (capt), P de Villiers, F Pelous, J Thion, S Betsen, T Dusautoir, J Bonnaire. Replacements: J-B Poux, D Szarzewski, S Chabal, I Harinordoquy, F Michalak, C Dominici, C Poitrenaud

England - unchanged (apart from their pants...which is more than you can say for those frogs . Weeks they go without changing them...and the men are worse!): Robinson (unattached); P Sackey (Wasps), M Tait (Newcastle), M Catt (London Irish), J Lewsey (Wasps); J Wilkinson (Newcastle), A Gomarsall (Harlequins); A Sheridan (Sale Sharks), M Regan (Bristol), P Vickery (Wasps, capt), S Shaw (Wasps), B Kay (Leicester), M Corry (Leicester), L Moody (Leicester), N Easter (Harlequins).

Replacements: G Chuter (Leicester), M Stevens (Bath), L Dallaglio (Wasps), J Worsley (Wasps), P Richards (London Irish), T Flood (Newcastle), D Hipkiss (Leicester).

Aus du Rant - Last Digger of the Day - A Joke / Blague

Three rugby fans were on their way to a game when one fan noticed a foot protruding from a clump of bushes on the side of the road.  They all stopped and discovered it was a nude female, dead drunk.  Out of respect and propriety, the Springbok fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast.  The All-Black fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast.  Following their lead, the Australian fan took off his cap and placed it over her crotch.
The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted his inspection.  First, he lifted up the springbok cap, and wrote down some notes.  Next, he lifted the All-Black cap, replaced it, and wrote down some notes.  The officer then lifted the Australian cap, replaced it, lifted it replaced it, lifted it a third time and replaced it one last time. The Australian fan was getting upset and finally asked," what are you, a pervert or something?  Why do you keep lifting and looking lifting and looking?"
Well," said the officer," I am simply surprised.  Normally when I look under an Australian hat, I find an @rsehole!"

Trois passionnés de rugby revenaient d'un match quand l'un eux remarqua un pied qui dépassait de dessous un buisson au bord de la route. Ils s'arrêtèrent tous et découvrèrent une femme saoule et toute nue. Par respect et dignité, le Springbok enleva son chapeau et le posa sur le sein droit. L'All Black à son tour envela son chapeau et le posa sur le sein gauche. Suivant leurs directions, l'Australien envela aussi son chapeau et le posa sur son entre-jambes.
Ils apelèrent la police et quand le flic arriva il fit une inspection. Premièrement, il leva le chapeau du Springbok et écrit quelques notes. Puis, il leva le chapeau du All Black, le replaça et écrit quelques notes. Après çà, le flic leva le chapeau de l'Australien, le replaça, le leva et le replaça, et le leva et le replaça une troisième fois et le posa une dernière fois.
L'Australien commença à s'énerver et finalement demanda: "Etes-vous un obsédé ou quoi? Pourquoi n'arrêtez-vous pas de soulever; de regarder et soulever et regarder?
Et bien, dit le flic, je suis un peu intrigué, normalement quand je regarde sous un chapeau australien, je trouve un trou-du-cul!"